You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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