i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
