I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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