I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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