Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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