so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I can't put those talents on a resume
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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