Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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