THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
