Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
