As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
