Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
