we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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