Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
