you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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