end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
