sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
