im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
