Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just google imaged poop.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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