Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
