he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
