We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am one with the molecules
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
