you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
