I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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