kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
