Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were trust falling into bushes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
try to milk me bitch
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