her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
