big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize