I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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