i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
