goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
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the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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