If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
