So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
