Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
