well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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