just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize