Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
there is puke in my bra ... again
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