Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize