I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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