WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think people are normalizing furries
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
