Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
