The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
