Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
no, he came in my armpit
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
