At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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