"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
