Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
