I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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