I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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