I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
