How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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