Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
