Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need a beard to bite.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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