escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
