I don't usually arrange sex via text message
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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