I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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