Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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