Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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