Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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