i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
