i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize