until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
