I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize