escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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