no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
