People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize