I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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