you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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